The remake of George Romero's The Crazies is currently in theaters and garnering some significant decent reviews. How does it hold up in the eyes of a horror aficionado? You'll have to read on to find out.
Brian Ross, Senior Writer
Based on other reviews I had the highest hopes for the remake of George Romero's The Crazies. For those not familiar with the original, it is a film about a small town that plummets into chaos when a man-made virus enters the town's water supply. Those infected turn into blood-thirsty versions of themselves. The original film features a two part plot that focuses on the plight of a group trying to escape the madness and the government that is trying to contain the disease. The remake for whatever reason focuses entirely on the survivors trying to make it out alive.
Directed by Breck Eisner (son of the infamous Disney head Michael Eisner) the film is by all means successful, but at the same time utterly disappointing. The acting is capable, the effects are decent , the plot is interesting, but in the same sense it is all ho-hum. Everything here has been done before and in every case better. While it is a remake, I would more acutely describe this film as the Americanized popcorn version of 28 Days Later. The same themes, styles, and plot devices are used in both - but 28 Days Later is vastly more effective.
Our heroes are David & Judy Dutton (Timothy Olyphant & Radha Mitchell), the town sheriff & doctor, his deputy Russell Clank (Joe Anderson) and her nurse Becca Darling (Danielle Panabaker). Despite being a small town of 1,260 all four are extremely attractive and in their prime. They also are apparently experts in their respective fields. It only takes the two lawmen a few hours and one conveniently placed clue to deduce that a virus in the water is driving people crazy. Now, for anyone that has ever been to a small town - what do we know is wrong with this picture? Everything - key townsmen are seldom young, yet alone attractive or intelligent. Let us keep going though and suspend all disbelief.
Through misadventure after misadventure our foursome is driven from place to place. Despite early displays of genius, they quickly revert into epic levels of stupidity. Don't worry though, if any danger comes along, they will be saved at the last second. Each and every time. In case you are wondering about how stupid our survivors are, let me explain it simply. The entire government is hunting down crazy people in the town. They have recon forces, helicopters, Humvees, and satellite surveillance. So what do our heroes do? If you said stick to the trees where there are no crazies and they cannot be seen from the air - you are wrong. If you said find a car, drive down the main highway where the only cover on either side is open farmland - you are right. Luckily, the government is apparently incompetent as well because they only spot our group once despite constant satellite surveillance.
The film director really screwed the pooch on this one. Eisner, who is best known for the epic failure Sahara, does not redeem himself with this film. There are massive plot holes and cliches define this film. I could share more, but I don't want to ruin the plot for those who do go see it - if they do not predict it within five minutes. I also find it guilty of stealing massive elements from numerous existing films: 28 Days Later, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, and Dawn of the Dead most noticeably. I knew from the very beginning when it began to play Johnny Cash's "We'll Meet Again," that I was about to watch something uninspired. I also wondered why the director would choose to rip-off the beginning of Dawn of the Dead and at the same time create an allusion to Dr. Strangelove. There is a similar element to Dr. Strangelove, but the overall message is lost and the allusion is inappropriate.
In case you are wondering why I am being so harsh, it is because this film may be the Disco Duck of the Zombie genre. It could have been so much more. If I had been directing it or writing the script, I would not have villianized the government. That has been done enough in this genre. I would instead focus on the epic stupidity of the survivors. They are intelligent enough to know that they have all eventually become infected. Each displays obvious visible symptoms over the course of the film. It would have been a far more interesting film if the director focused on these survivors as the villains that they really are. Hell, if I was writing the script, I would have had the Duttons as the original infected and written the entire thing as if they did not know they were the crazy ones. Having them violently escape quarantine and kill their way through survivors trying to defend themselves against them. Switching half way through to the government trying to stop them. It would be a lot tougher to pull off effectively, but at least it would be interesting.
In the end, The Crazies gets a 5/10. It is a capable film, but nothing special. Do not bother going to see it unless you're a fan of the genre and absolutely must. This one can wait for video .
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About: Brian Ross graduated from NC State with a degree in Computer Science and a minor in Film Studies. His major interests include college sports, Magic, video games, and movies. Brian tends to embrace all aspects of video gaming and movies, being able to tell you why Citizen Kane is genius and in the same breath praise Little Nicky for intrinsic merit. Always captivating - half man, half amazing.
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